Monday, December 31, 2012

Grand Passion

It's the end of a love story that no one could understand, not even those involved.

We never met cause we have always known each other. Or so it seemed when we first saw each other in this lifetime. There was something extremely familiar and it shook me up, but of course it made her laugh. She laughed at me as I stumbled around trying to get away, from what, I didn't know at the time.

We would see each other again when she came to my house with friends. There it was again, as it would continue to be for the rest of our lives together--this time. I could no longer run away. (I was  afterall in my own home.) We circled one another and asked questions, like secret agents trying to see if the other knew the code.

Still not sure if it wasn't all just a trap, we asked the ultimate question.

"When's your birthday?"

Nov 1.

Not my birthday, your birthday!
Wait, how'd you know that?

It's also your birthday? All Saints Day, AND you're a recovering Catholic too. Yes, of course I also thought we got the day out of school because it was my birthday….

And so it went on from there. The two wild ones that should have never been allowed to sit next to each because of the laughter and giggling.

She called me 'Spice Lee' and I called her 'Ernest.'
We had our own language and our own world.  If one of us looked down and said to the other, "Nice shoes"* that meant we were bored and needed to find an excuse to leave wherever we were.

*This came from a lecture we were giving and the crowd was, let's say, 'less intellectual' than we expected and standing at the podium we started talking about our shoes. Yes, we kept answering questions from the audience but the shoes were more interesting than anything they were saying.

Sometimes our communication didn't involve spoken words. Whenever I travelled I would write her letters and notes that I'd forget to send, I didn't need to.

Our relationship was so intimate that sometimes I couldn't tell if I was talking to her or myself. She'd say we had 'residual intimacy' from another time. Whatever it was, everybody saw it and loved it. People often looked at us and sighed, saying they wish they had a friend like that. A friendship that made our hearts laugh and sing.

Of course, many people misinterpreted who and what we were to each other, but we especially loved that too.


Scorpio's are very private and we love secrets.  So the less people got it, the more fun it was. (...and the more outrageous) .

We were each other's biggest supporters, always pushing the other to do more and helping each other through the disappointments in life.

Guitar SHeros
We didn't agree on everything and would have great fights. We'd stop speaking to each other for as long as we could take it, but eventually one of us would always break down and call. Then we'd pick up were we left off, as if no time had passed.






Our fights with each other were expected, but heaven help anyone else who came for us. Everyone knew there was a line that was not to be crossed when it came to our friendship.  We would defend each other to the end. More angered by someone insulting the other, than by being personally attacked.

That love and support is what will get me through the difficulty of saying goodbye, for now.



To Ernest,

                 Much and More.
                                             Love,
                                                         Spice

Saturday, February 18, 2012

An Apology to Whitney Houston






We all owe Whitney Houston an apology


An apology for enjoying her suffering. 
An apology for laughing at her struggle. 
An apology for dismissing her pain. 
An apology for writing her off as a has been, booing her off stage.
An apology for ignoring her need for help.
An apology for watching her implode on reality tv, waiting for the fatal overdose finale, and when it didn't happen on air, loosing interest.
An apology for not publicly denouncing Bravo for airing "Being Bobby Brown."
An apology for not being able to accept her as she really was: Black, Gay and Beautiful. (Yeah I said it)



An apology for demanding she be who WE wanted her to be.

We've all failed Whitney Houston.

And though it may be too late, we still owe Whitney an apology.
So here it is: 

I'm sorry Whitney that we weren't there for you.
I'm sorry Whitney that we seemed to enjoy your fall.
I'm sorry Whitney that we acted as if you deserved your pain.
I'm sorry Whitney that we didn't give you love and support in your time of need.
I'm sorry Whitney that we couldn't give back to you a little of the joy and happiness you gave to all of us.
I'm sorry Whitney that we didn't know how to love you.

Forgive us Whitney and rest in peace, finally...